Happy Mother’s Day!

There are a lot of mothers in my life who have shown me the kind of mother I hope to be.

(FYI—This should serve as your warning that this post is a bit long.)

The first, of course, is my mother—Linda. She is one of the most caring people I know. Growing up I think I always knew just how much she did for us, but it wasn’t until I became a mother that I fully understood her sacrifices. Raising two kids on her own could not have been easy. Well, I was easy to manage, but there was my brother to deal with. OK, so I got in trouble—once. I was just telling my daughter a couple nights ago about the time I got grounded for one month. My daughter wanted to know all the details, but her being only 7, I simply told her it was because I had lied and went somewhere other than where I was supposed to be. She wanted to know how grandma caught me. I told her it was because she was sneaky and taught me how to be sneaky too.

My mom not only taught me how to be sneaky, but she taught me how to cut the grass, pull the leaves from the rocks, dust the furniture, vacuum the floor, feed the dog, and a whole bunch of other stuff I know I resented at the time. I even learned she could throw a can of food pretty well, even if her aim was gratefully horrible. But she knew. I’d need those skills someday. Except for the canned food thing—I would never throw a can at my daughter…

More important than those above, she taught me to be myself. To not care what people said about me. To not feel so sorry for myself on those Friday nights I spent crying and alone. She taught me to be me and love myself even if I didn’t feel anyone else did. I forget this lesson from time to time, but it comes back to me when needed.

She also taught me what it means to sacrifice. She gave up a lot for her kids. She still gives up a lot for family and sometimes for random homeless people she sees on the street.

I could go on and on and on about all the things my mother taught me, but then I’d give away all my secrets.

 

Second is my step-mom, Merry. Mom-II has also taught me several things over the years. Mostly she taught me about faith, family, and how to be emotionally strong.

By the time my dad and Mom-II decided they’d had enough kids, there were six of us to contend with. The Brady Bunch—they had nothing on the Kozlowski/Richey clan. When we were all there at once… oh, boy. But we had some good times. Mom-II put up with it all and made sure we knew she was serious when she said she’d stop the car and make us behave. Yes indeed, lesson learned.

Unfortunately, our family was put to the test. And tested over and over again. Through it all, Mom-II stood strong. She held to her faith and her family and taught all her kids to do the same. I wish I could say the tests were over. But with a horrific challenge having occurred just a year ago, that’s not the case. But Mom-II has remained strong and I know she’ll stay that way. It’s just how God made her.

 

Next is my mother-in-law, Sandra. She is truly one of the most genuine and wonderful women that exist on this Earth. I’m so blessed to have been destined to be a part of the Beckort family. I sometimes hear horror stories about ‘the in-laws’ and I’m so grateful that I can’t relate. Sandra accepted me from the first moment their only son brought me home, over 18 years ago. She may not have agreed with all the decisions we have made, but she let us learn from our mistakes and become stronger in the process.

She has never made me feel anything less than one of her children. And her children are amazing people, so I’m honored to be included in that group.

 

Coming in next are all my aunts—Kathy, Beth, Peggy, Maureen, Ruth, and Regi. I think aunt really is just another name for ‘back-up mom’ because that’s what they do. Countless times an aunt has stepped in when my mom couldn’t be there. They picked me up from school or activities, they went to my softball games—they were simply there. Always. One in particular also taught me how fun it was to scare the begeezes out of someone once in awhile!

 

Mridula, or more affectionately known as Doctor, has been a second mother to me for longer than I can remember. She is an amazing person and has not only taught me what it is to be a great mother, but also a great person. I don’t have the words to describe the level of kindness Doctor possesses. All I can say is that I believe it emanates from beyond this world.

 

Next are the moms of friends. These are women who didn’t have to put up with loud, annoying kids that weren’t their own—yet they not only put up with me, they accepted me as if I were their daughter as well. I know there are probably more, but my memory is crap. Really, it is. Quiz me sometime and I’m sure to fail.

 

Anyway, the three that stand out the most from childhood are Lilli, Debbie, and Linda. I spent countless hours at their homes, and sometimes I think I even moved in for days at a time. They never hesitated to admonish me if I needed it. But they also never hesitated to make sure I knew they loved me too. I hope I can do the same for my daughter’s friends.

 

Then there are the mothers of my adult friends. This one does amaze me sometimes, but I’m not sure why it should. I mean, haven’t we established that mothers are amazing? I don’t know why I would be surprised at developing a connection with the mothers of friends I’ve only known as an adult—mothers I only see at birthday parties or on the soccer field. These women have taught a grown woman that new mothers are always needed.

 

Of course I have to end with the many mothers I know not already mentioned. I’ve learned from each of you. You support each other. You don’t judge or criticize. You encourage and make sure we all know that as long as we choose a path that’s right for our family, we’re doing the best we can.

 

I love you all. Thanks for inspiring me to be a better mother and person.

Happy Mother’s Day—keep doing all the wonderful things you do.